searching for a new theme...

Well, what else would I do on a major holiday with a full week off but move across town? Not only that, but if I'm going down, I take everyone else with me (seriously, a huge thanks to everyone who helped!). I'm cannot be entirely certain, but I could have easily worked off 15 pounds in the process. Still, I'm all tucked in and the old place is no more. Poof! It is almost as if I were never there. I was driving one a final load home last night and a certain song came on that almost made me nostalgic about leaving the cream-box-with-a-view behind, but I'm sure it wasn't the apartment I was thinking about anyway.

So many things happen all at once when you move. Of course you have to deal with boxes you never unpacked from the last move. Some of those went to the goodwill, or dumpster as the case may be, but some contained items I still find I can't yet get rid of. I mean, maybe someday I'll have a son I can give those silly old baseball cards to. I at least know otherwise I won't have any use for them personally. "Brian" went to Value Village, along with a rug I almost considered putting to use in my new, larger bathroom and both my own and my former roommates old military clothing. I wonder what the folks cleaning the windows outside Goodwill thought about me throwing away Army AND Navy uniforms. I'm sure it was at least a little odd.

One of the nicer things about moving was being forced to make tough, life changing decisions. I'm talking about the couches people! I had to give up the purple monster. There was just no way to get it through the front door, much less up the 45 stairs. Hopefully my brother has found a home for it by now. Of course that meant I needed to deal with the other couch in storage that I thought was broken. It turns out it wasn't in as bad shape as I thought. The front kick-panel is lose, but hanging on for dear life. I'm not sure anyone will even notice that. Once we completely dismantled it, we were able to move the beast to my new 3rd floor studio. I not only sweated the move itself, but whether or not I'd even get it put back together. So sometime before midnight, I managed to get all the nuts tight and the motor plugged in and I officially have a spare bed (a mildly comfortable one at that) for guests to stay in again! Sure, only a few people have ever used it, but there is always a chance it will get busier around here.

After I finished up Sunday night's unpacking and reorganizing activities, I went downstairs and caught one of the bartender's band play a small show in the back of Paddy's. It wasn't very busy. I could tell they are used to playing for a slightly larger audience, but it was nice. I sat there with a mixture of strangers and casual acquaintances thinking that I am finally starting to make this city home. I also couldn't help wondering if the guy singing most of the songs wasn't the guy who used to play indoor soccer with us in college. I was able to get his first name by memory, but after 2 1/2 hours I couldn't even get a hint of what his last name was. Anyway, It wasn't even close--definitely a different person regardless.

So, here's to the place that already feels more like home than anywhere I've been in years!

Peace,

b

Soft Shoulder
Ani DiFranco
To The Teeth

Cheers Darling...

I used to blog fairly regularly about some pretty personal stuff. I stopped when the personal stuff started to infringe on the privacy of others close to me. Of course, that begs the question, I imagine, why I would bother now.

Tonight I find sleep an impossibly elusive mistress in spite of working 10 hour shifts all week and most of last week. Maybe I should have gone to the pub again last night and closed the place down yet again. I am finding some new friends there who are quite entertaining at the least and incredibly insightful on occasion. So was it the caffeine from lunch, the lack of proper sedative as a nightcap or the impending dental appointment early this morning (which will make today a very long day indeed)?

The answer is of course, D, none of the above. Tonight happens to mark the intersection of several events that conspire to keep my thoughts wandering endlessly. Primarily that today's dental appointment is a sort-of-anniversary of the day the cause of my long silence from blogging about most personal things decided to end our relationship in an extra innings nail-biter of a day. So I realized among other things that this is the first time I'll see my friends at the dentist office since the break-up, which makes them kind of unique among the various people in my life who all know by now (whether by direct or word-of-mouth marketing).

Today also marks the day the aforementioned former entanglement was due to return to the city of destiny (well, originally). So there was also that, but that is not all. Sunday, aside from being mothers day, also marks my thirty-second birthday. Yes I get to share my birthday with my mom (whose birthday is a week later and it seems blatantly unfair that she doesn't also sometimes have to share that with a "son's day" or something of the sort) about once every 5 years.

There isn't much of a connection between all of these things on the surface, except that I had been anticipating my birthday a long time ago. My ex had missed my only other birthday during our year and a half long relationship, and I had made the request that we go away and do something together, being that she was due back in town just in time. I didn't want to know a lot about the details, but it was very important to me that we do something together and alone. Not to offend any of my family who might also read this, but I'd had enough of spending my birthdays alone or as a third(ish) wheel to whatever was already going on with them.

Yeah I suppose it all seems very silly to focus so much energy at a date on the calendar but as I recall, it was between my 8th birthday and my mom's 35th that my parents split up, making it the last time we were all together. From then on I tended to always spend birthdays with family, never having much of a "party" with friends. My great-grandfather's birthday was the next day, so a few of were spent with them also. My dad decided to make his re-appearance on my 13th birthday. I remember being shocked and a little disoriented by the man standing at the back door who looked both strange and familiar. He had wanted to surprise me and he certainly accomplished that much at least. Finally I did get to have a party with friends (after a little protesting on my part) sometime around my 16th or 17th. It was kind of awkward though since it was a Wednesday and that was youth group night. So I went to McDonald's afterwards as I had started doing occasionally with some of my friends and my mom and grandmother decided to show up with a big cake and embarrass me enough that I never bothered asking for a big birthday party again.

So this year my invitation is to spend mothers day with my family and help my brother with the food (so his wife and the mother of their children doesn't have to) on the BBQ. Seeing as there isn't anything better to do anymore, I'll oblige and bring some ribs I've seasoned to my own special flavor resigned to spend at least one more birthday surrounded by all the reminders that at the end of the day I will still be alone.

Still, if anyone wishes to buy me a drink, I'll be at Paddy's in time for "happy hour."

peace,

brian

doll parts
hole

opening week nearly over...

and the Mariners are 3-2. It is too early to tell if this .600 record is what they will end the season with (which would be very respectable), but for now the fact that they have earned all 3 of these wins on the road, does mean they have the winningest road record in baseball. That is something to celebrate... for now.

[update: the hometown boys of summer are now 5-2 after sweeping the A's in Oakland. That is a 4 way tie for the 3rd best record in baseball right now. Only Florida and Atlanta are better, each at 5-1 and neither having a significant road-trip yet this season. In fact, only Atlanta has picked up just 2 road wins and Florida hasn't left the grove yet at all. This means the Mariners are arguably the best team in baseball so far this year as the next best road record is the Chicago Cubs at 4-2.

Looking forward to Tuesday's home opener. Time to set the DVR!]

On heavy rotation...

I noticed yesterday as I was wondering where an old album went that my handy take-your-favorite-120 CD's-on-the-go tote had accumulated quite a bit of dust. I remembered that the one I was looking for was not in it, and squinted to find the case on the bookshelf. It was definitely a needle in the hay! Even though I knew it would not be in the carrying case, I was not entirely convinced I would find it in its jacket either. Imagine my surprise when it slipped out of its minimalist imported recycled paper products packaging a little scratched but none the worse for wear.

I don't know if I would ordinarily blog about an old disc that everyone should certainly have by now, but this is more about the what and when and why.

I found this disc at Borders when I was living in a drab brick & mortar dorm-style dwelling which sweated strangely along the exterior wall. Dust bunnies were the only pets I kept as I made sure not to leave any food in my fridge for fear of the army of ants that were perched to invade whether the window was left open or not.

The Special Forces compound was a strange place where a group of us medical personnel hid out on the third floor of one of the buildings. I had just traded in my nimble Cavalier for a more stout SUV and loaded all the necessary sound equipment that really never belonged in such an odd duck as my tan 2-door anyway. The litmus test for such an installation was of course the 03:22 mark of track 3 of Damien Rice's O. I think that I realized I never really belonged on the special forces compound when I pushed moody Irish folk-rock through my 450 watt sub amp instead of 50 cent or Bloodhound Gang. But those first 3 seconds after the key change sent chills down my spine as I parked outside the barracks in the rain not really in any kind of hurry to go "home" all alone again.

In those weeks I had worked up the nerve to actually call up the principle of my then current infatuation and to my surprise was not instantly greeted with instantaneous rejection or at least passive disinterest. OK so the "date" turned out to not really be a date after all and it became awkward rather quick but I was learning to get over myself. I guess sometimes you just have to revel in any victory no matter how insignificant it might seem at the time.

So I blew the dust off and put it in my new car. While my present wheels might seem pretty ostentatious to some, the sound system is kind of wimpy.... shudder... it's the factory stuff. So how does track 3 sound at the 03:22 key change in my new(ish) car? Well, admittedly it sounds decent when it's raining, and even better when the sun is long down in the west. Then again I have to turn it up quite a bit more than the radio because DR seems to enjoy plenty of contrast and pushing your dynamic range, but when it comes, it does not disappoint... even in my silly stock ampless speakers.

I had the pleasure of catching Rice in concert 2 years ago next month. I took a friend who was not really familiarized with his music, but it was memorable nonetheless. I guess I hadn't really listened to this one all the way through in at least as long, because I had nearly forgotten the crescendo of the concert, a totally amped up extended version of I Remember.

I won't go into exactly what prompted me to go dig for this one, but I needed to put it on heavy rotation again... if only for a short while.

The Blower's Daughter (aka track 3)
I Remember
Damien Rice
O

PS... I could only find a live version of I Remember. It is either a poor recording or a better-than-average bootleg, but thankfully it is from the early leg of the same tour that brought Rice to Seattle for Earth Day 2007. So this is pre-splitting-up-with-Lisa over "creative differences" and arguably a slightly better version than the one I heard live which was absent the sultry fem vocals in the prelude ballad... so it is closer to the album version in that regard, but the transition matches the intensity I recall from Benaroya Hall, though the crowd sounds much smaller. Oh, don't listen to these on a laptop or work speakers. These songs need the full treatment. Find a pimped out car or at least a good set of headphones :D That is all!

the end of an era...

So I am sitting at home grubbing on ice cream and enjoying a quiet Sunday evening before starting my first week of not-night-shift in a very long time (well, starting Tuesday). How do I feel about this? Well, it's been the focus of my attention for as long as I can remember to get off night shift, but now that it's here it seems very weird. I don't know what it will be like to work right along-side some of the day and swing shifters and have so many people underfoot all the time, but chances are it will be just fine. Yet change is still change and I'm not entirely certain what my job will look like until i settle into it for a few weeks.

So in the spirit of being thankful for having a job in uncertain times, here's a happy tune for you all to enjoy as much as I do.

b

100 Yard Dash
Raphael Saadiq
The Way I See It