merry christmas from far away...

I apologize that it has been as long as it has. I know some of you hang on every word that streams on this page. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. More on that later.

First off; this is my first post with the background music coming from my own secret stash thanks to the good folks at fileden.com. So check them out and set up your own free secret stash. This is going to help me post pictures here too. Otherwise I had to post them on my other blog and it was generally a hassle because msn compresses the hell out of them. So this way I can share the unadulterated raw talent--well really it's all about the camera I guess.

Anyway, I am in Vancouver again. Spending most of my free time here which I assure you is not the long term plan. I am supposed to be packing because I have set a date to move (my stuff at least) of Dec 30th and I need to be ready. I only have two more days off besides today (tonight really). One is a solo shot so I am not sure it will do me much good. The other is the day before I want to move. I can't really put it off until then or I'll be screwed when everyone shows up and I am only partially packed.

So spending time in Vancouver, in my own place, sleeping in my own bed (oversleeping really), even eating some food I found in my freezer, I am getting all nostalgic. Who would want to leave this place? Oh tonight is open mic night, maybe I'll hit that up and reminisce over a greyhound or three. Anyway, it is in this vane that I offer you "Far Away" from Dishwalla's 2005 self-titled LP.

I occasionally have these moments of navel-gazing that I cannot quite describe and then a song I've been looking for randomly appears (what would the equivalent word be for audibles?) and perfectly captures the place I am at, metaphysically that is.

Moments of self reflection, people offering unsolicited advice, a fancy free imagination let loose contemplating the absurd and the mundane in a twist of sobriety, its all there. I hope you enjoy.

Peace and happy holidays,

Brian

another mulligan for the sandman...

I found myself swimming in a pool fully clothed. It wasn't deep, I could easily stand and there was a large platform rising out of the pool in the center. I was accompanied by someone I perceived to be my partner in crime and another who was curious about our activities but we remained vague because we had to make sure we did not give too much away.

It seems there was something ado about something on a computer screen protruding from the side of the platform that I was paying attention to. I was becoming alarmed because it wasn't telling me what I needed to know and after much frustration I finally discovered what I needed to know.

It seemed my partner and I were in charge of some prisoners of some kind and in the morning when the next shift came we would have to fudge some documents to make it appear as though everyone was accounted for so we could leave the building and begin our search for the missing prisoner.

I climbed out of the water and laid on the platform, perhaps to dry off. Then a little while later our relief arrived and we quickly went through the logbook with them as if something was awry although they were too stupid to catch on.

Then we left to go find our missing hooligan. I don't know what we thought we were going to do when we found him. I mean, we had made it appear as though he was never there so I guess we would have to kill him. Either that or we could chain him up out back and wait until we had relieved the evening shift and then go back there and bring him in. Then we would have all night to fix the logs and make sure nobody was aware of our little goof-up.

Then I awoke to realize I hadn't slept nearly late enough!

Peace,

Brian

readership increases...

I am not normally one to spend a whole lot of time navel-gazing but I have noticed this past week that my readership is on the rise. I also know it cannot be due to the relatively few "friends" I have spending their every waking hour online so they can read the latest post while it is hot-off-the-presses.

So a lot of strangers must be passing through. That got me thinking about who some of you are. Since only a few have ever bother to drop a note I have to wonder if what I have to say really ever peaks your interest or not. Perhaps I should focus a little less on myself and more on putting forth something creative.

If you stay long enough to read through my archives you'll see that it's about 80% me and 20% my creative musings with the occasional remark about politics (both local and national).

So I would hate to become a whore but perhaps some of you would like to chime in and let me know what type of stuff you like to read. I could see what I can do to oblige. Oh and my next post will be another one of my weird dreams.

Peace,

Brian

home is where your ass is...

You know I have moved many times in my life. Generally it has been quick and painless though there have been times where I was far from home and a quick bout of depression set in while I was still trying to get settled.

This move is going quite different. I have been pretty busy, so no time to get down in the mouth. Also not being able to move out of my apartment (without paying too much to break my lease which would prevent me from getting a new place anyway) is making this move pretty weird, even for me!

So I go "home" for a weekend here and there and it got me to thinking about what my home is right now. Driving here last night got me to thinking about how I don't really want to move away. Yet when I am in Tacoma it is familiar from living there for two years. I didn't really want to leave there if memory serves me correctly. I had to, of course, in order to go finish my last semester of college in Portland.

Even driving over to my brother's house (where I am staying temporarily) is oddly familiar, though not quite "homey" for me personally.

So while I am wishing I could hurry up and move I am also not looking forward to leaving Vancouver for good. The funny thing is the reason I decided to go ahead and move up to the Tacoma area in the first place (if someone offered me a job there of course) was because Portland was getting to be a place where I had fewer and fewer friends. Most of my college friends have all graduated and moved away. I really only see a handful of people on a semi-regular basis and all but one are married and unavailable to just "hang out" all too much (and the single one is always broke anyway so I don't like to hang out with him that much anyway).

Don't ask me what makes me think Tacoma will be different, except that my reserve unit is there and my brother lives about 30 minutes away and all his friends live in that general area too. Of course as busy as I've been this past month I haven't seen any of the guys in my unit outside of drill and I doubt I will after I go on shift either.

So am I going back to square one? Maybe, but I'll be in square one in Tacoma and hopefully for good.

I'd like to live downtown but my real estate agent is steering me away from downtown condos and toward regular homes in North Tacoma, in the University of Puget Sound area. He lives there and says that it's a good idea since the homes there always appreciate well and if I want I can rent rooms to college students if I need or want to.

I might like that idea but the main reason I don't think about regular homes is that I don't want to have to take care of yards. I also don't consider myself the handiest man around and wouldn't want a home that is highly likely to need electrical and/or plumbing repairs frequently.

So I don't know exactly what I'm going to do, but I'm doing it anyway! How is that for a life's motto? Just do it, even if you don't know exactly what it is you are doing.

Peace,

Brian

...to the people in the middle...

ALAS, I have finished training at my new "day" job which is really just a night job. I'll be free now to work on loans during the daytime when I am not catching up on sleep.

So with that said, I am back in "the couv" for a few nights and I am SO looking forward to sleeping in my own bed--you people have no idea how stiff I am from sleeping on a couch in my dad's trailer. I have to duck to take a shower in that thing and the pipes froze during this little storm we had and I had to go inside the house to shower (which makes the dog bark and possibly wakes everyone up :s) so its been awkward to say the least.

The good news? a) My lease expires at the end of this month and I can either buy something up there or get an apartment for a few months while I plot and scheme to do so. b) Night shift pays better and I will be getting some overtime because I will be working two weekends in a row. c) I might finally close a loan some of you know I have been working on for more than four months! That paycheck will be nice, especially if I get it before Christmas.

Yet to be decided? I am still up in the air over whether or not to "jump ship" and work for a different Mortgage Broker/Bank up in the Tacoma area or just find a small office to lease so I can have an "address" so it at least appears to clients that I am a local agent. Of course I don't want to physically occupy said office when I don't have work to do (I would rather sleep) and unless I am with a client I would rather work from the comforts of home. Still, having an office would have advantages, especially if I can recruit some people to join my office and process loans or be loan officers so the office is "open" even if I am not there.

If I do that I might even set up my own business name even if we remain under the brokerage I am currently working with. I would to have a name that captures the local flavor and charm of the Tacoma/Pierce County area. If you laugh at that, please stop, it really is a great place to live and their downtown core is (re)developing very nicely in recent years.

Well, this is about all I can think to say at the moment. Time to see how much a mess my apartment is in.

Peace,

Brian