the ducks won't row...

Do you ever think maybe your job is too much of a distraction from living well? I like to think that what I do has little-to-nothing to do with who I am, but unfortunately when you find yourself working nights in a hospital what you do dominates your life, even if it is less than "full time."

What do I mean? Well today was my day off and what did I do? I watched a weird movie on Showtime where Noah Wiley was a developer who falls for a chick in a band that protests developers. Yes there is a reason you have not seen or heard of this movie even though it came out less than two years ago, it is a very cheesy premise for a story.

Then I went to sleep. Then I overslept. Then I woke up in the middle of the night (when I would otherwise be working) and there is absolutely nothing to do, so I'm on the internet and everyone I could talk to is asleep so I'm blathering nonsense into the blogosphere. I would otherwise look forward to what I can do tomorrow but I probably will do nothing since I have to work again tomorrow night.

It isn't just the schedule though. My job is highly stressful. I like to think of myself as a stress-free guy who can handle much more than the average person without becoming overwhelmed but this past weekend proved me wrong. Almost every night at work things seemed out of control. Friday night it was just busy as usual but Saturday night when I arrived at work there were a couple dozen specimens that needed to be set up for cultures from the previous shift. Then there was the usual workload in the other department I cover and for some reason they feel that weekends require less staffing so we do it all with one less tech than usual. Sunday night we didn't walk into the same mess as Saturday but it was busier and I found myself getting overwhelmed in the morning and I think the lady who replaced me in the morning was upset because there were so many patients left untested for her to catch up on (though it would've been nothing like what I dealt with the night before).

Then there was Monday night. Monday night I was back in Chemistry and the usual crap where the machines fail their blank absorbance tests was going on only it was backwards from the last time. I guess we'd cleaned the heck out of the one it was happening to and it's fine now but the other one is starting to do it. Also we had some of the sickest patients I have ever seen in six years of doing this. Not just one of them but three or four whose chemistries were so out of whack you had to second guess and reconfirm everything! Now for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about I'll just say that when this happens you tend to get to deal with said patient more than twice on your shift. Often they are on an every 2 or 3 hour protocol and you get to know them very well!

So while the workload never ceased to lighten, all the while one of my machines is being stubborn and I only finished all of its quality control just in time to run the 100 or so patients we get starting around 4 AM. However, I was still dealing with the STAT problem childs who needed dilutions, repeats, reflexes and whatnots so I was being slower than usual about putting the "routine" morning rounds samples on the analyzers and found when it was time to leave that I still had like 30 samples running when I would normally be doing a quick final check to make sure nothing was left behind, misplaced or otherwise neglected. Obviously this process cannot go smoothly or quickly when there are so many to track down and make sure were not forgotten so I was late getting out.

Now ordinarily I don't care that much about my job. I mean while I am at work I try to do the best I can but I don't get worked up and let it affect me after I am off the clock if you can relate to that. However, I find that this job, with this hospital, is so stressful that I never fully decompress before it is time to go back and do it all over again--and would you believe that I only work 7 days every two weeks? Not exactly full time folks!

So last night I had an epiphany while I was eating what I call lunch. My work schedule is such that now just might be the perfect time for me to go back to school. I've always thought I might like to get a masters degree someday but I never settled on what I would want to get it in. I also remembered that I have the option of buying intopay to go to school! Also the fact that I'm only a .7 at work would mean that I could use my nights off to work on all my papers and things. Seems perfect right? the full GI Bill now and it would actually

Well, it might be somewhat less than perfect since I still have to decide what I want to study and jump through the hoops to get accepted. I'm leaning towards the University of Washington Tacoma since it is cheaper than the private schools in the area. They offer an MBA which has night courses that would be perfect for my schedule. I'm just not sure I want to study business since I've always found the topic a little boring in comparison to other areas of interest. They offer the MEd which is intriguing. I've always considered teaching but I'm not sure I want to struggle through life on a teacher's salary either. Of course if my choice was to struggle through life doing what I'm doing now or teaching, it wouldn't be much of a choice!

They also have something called Interdisciplinary Studies. I don't know if they offer it just at night or not but essentially it is the closest thing to the kind of Bachelors degree I have. It is very broad in scope and the emphasis is on critical thinking, research and analysis of sociological trends, public policy formulation, social concern and welfare. I'm not sure what these MA students ultimately go on to do after they finish but it does sound very appealing to me.

So I have a choice between what is practical and what is potentially frivolous. Do I study business and move on toward some of my ever-present ambitions with the leg up I've never had or do I attempt to make myself even more rounded without any notion of what it might do for me vocationally?

I've always felt that what I do has no bearing on who I am, but can I afford to have two degrees that add up to a job at Taco Bell?

Hmmm any thoughts? As always I welcome your comments here, though I've only ever gotten a few!

Peace,

Brian