north is still north...

Well bloggaholics, I always feel guilty with how infrequently I post these days but it is amazing how nothing much can keep you so flippin busy!

I am still looking for a place to live, nothing new there. I am still working nights, nothing new there. I am still single, nothing new there.

What has transpired in the past 24 hours that might be worth noting is that the last of my grandparents has died; my father's mother to be specific. She was the last holdout which shocked a lot of us since her health was probably the least of them. Well, not quite, but close. Cause of death? Nursing home depression I presume.

I actually have no idea exactly what caused her to die but her health had been deteriorating more rapidly this past year and it was finally too much for my aunt who had been taking care of her to continue to do so. So she opted to put her into a nursing home a week ago. I saw her twice since (which is nearly more than I had in the previous year) and yet she was seriously depressed about being there.

Walking the halls I could tell that there was a wide disparity in attitudes and outlooks of the people there. Some seemed sad, others vacant, and some actually seemed to have had accepted and begun to make the best of being there. In fact I might say this was the case with my grandmother's roommate. She always seemed chipper and when a visitor was with her while we were with my grandma she seemed very cheerful. Maybe she won something at bingo just before!

I guess nursing homes are a tough subject but the inevitable consequence of modern medicine. We cure almost everything except age. I wonder sometimes if we were meant to live as long as we often do now. On the other hand who ever really wants to die and who of us is really ever ready to say goodbye to a loved one?

Me on the other hand. I'm going to get a living will that says who has to shoot me if I get too old and/or senile. My feeling is that if I cannot be of some use or I can no longer have the presence of mind to know who I am and what is going on around me then I'd like to skip "go," not collect another 200 dollars and go straight to heaven... or nirvana... or the parallel universe where I am the infamous taco king of South Detroit.

Well, with that thought I'll end this one. I had no where else to take it. Might as well land abruptly if there is no flight plan filed with the FAA.

Peace,

Brian